What is the innate foolishness at the core of your persona????? I don’t understand. It is not visible, whatever it is. Have you misdiagnosed yourself? WHAT? Explain please.

I don't know if I can put it in words. I had a very profound experience that was the biggest gift of all from the est training and that is the ability to laugh at myself and see my own foolishness. Not foolishness in a bad or negative way and not foolishness as if I were foolish and other people weren't. It's a foolishness that is common to humanity but which we all feel the need to cover. Pretty much like the fact that we're all naked but wear clothing so we can't see t he nakedness. The foolishness is closely aligned with absurdity and it really can't be "understood" by our minds. The closest I can come to describing it, I guess, is as a really deep belly laugh. There's nothing mental about that; it's pure experience. In this case the belly laugh has stayed with me for 28 years and my eyes crinkle when I even think about it.